How to Give Bad News and Gain Trust

Contents

• Do this

• Avoid at all Costs

• Frameworks

• The Good and the Bad

What should you do when you’re about to give bad news? Maybe your project timelines are overrunning, or the new feature released is causing user complaints and negative app store reviews? Here are some ideas.

Be clear and succinct: Get to your point quickly without beating around the bush. Use clear, simple language to convey the message.

Example: Instead of saying, “oh, and we also need to discuss some unfortunate developments regarding our timelines at the end of the discussion,” just say, “we are delayed on project x due to…”

Be honest and transparent: Provide accurate information without hiding important details. Honesty builds trust even in difficult situations. If you hide important details, they will likely be made known later, and could also delay or reduce the impact of any resolutions you are trying to put in place.

Show empathy: Acknowledge the impact of the news on the recipient and show that you understand their feelings.

Be prepared: Anticipate questions and have answers ready. Gather all necessary information before the conversation.

Example: I was involved in a round of layoffs in a previous role. One of our approaches was a set of next steps and FAQs for common questions, which we made available after the news was given to affected team members. You can’t expect them to have all the questions ready as soon as they have been given the bad news. Sometimes people need time to accept the news and reflect.

Choose the right time and place: Depending on the audience or type of news, select an appropriate setting that offers privacy and minimises distractions.

Listen and be quiet: Allow the recipient to express their thoughts and feelings. Pay attention to their reactions, including non verbal responses. Don't feel pressured to fill every moment of silence with words, as this leads to lack of clarity of thought and delays the processing of bad news.

Follow-up: Check-in with the person after delivering the news to see how they're coping and if they need additional support.

Take responsibility: If applicable, acknowledge your role in the situation without making excuses.

When things go wrong, senior management often want to know where they went wrong, who was involved, and what can be done to avoid it happening again. These are all valid questions, but the first priority should always be on fixing what went wrong first. When this happens, I make it clear to my team that I’m with them and the priority is on getting things right, rather than blame.

Often, when things go wrong, this is a perfect opportunity to show your strengths in problem solving, taking swift action and continued ownership. That alone can turn negative situations into positive experiences and increase respect in you as a leader and team player.

Look after yourself: Acknowledge that delivering bad news can be stressful for you as well, and be mindful of your own emotional needs.

Breathe: I take a few deep breaths before delivering bad news and even before my responses to the potential onslaught of follow-up questions. This helps to calm my nerves and stops me from making commitments I can’t keep, or crumble under scrutiny. It really works!

Be prepared for different reactions: People may respond with anger, sadness, or denial. Be ready to handle various emotional responses calmly.

Provide context: Help the recipients understand the bigger picture and why this decision or situation has occurred.

Offer alternatives or options: If possible, present any available choices or alternative solutions to the situation. If I’m not empowered to make a problem resolution decision myself, I always give options and a recommendation based on experience. This usually speeds up the decision making process.

Time it right: If possible, deliver bad news early in the week and earlier in the day to allow the recipient time to process and seek support if needed. Bad news Fridays should not be a thing!

Respect privacy: Ensure the conversation takes place in a private setting, particularly for sensitive or personal news.

Allow for questions: Create an open environment where the recipient feels comfortable asking for clarification or expressing concerns.

Document the conversation: keeping a record of what was discussed and agreed helps people to be on the same page with the situation. In addition, continued follow-ups and updates are essential for reducing stakeholder anxiety and helping people to feel in control.

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For the most part, the points to avoid are the opposite of the actions you should consider doing, but there are some points that are just too important that we need to discuss them...

Avoid technical jargon: Use simple, clear language that the recipient can easily understand, especially when delivering complex information.

There is often a desire to use technical language like “the critical path has been affected due to project Y missing the dependency we need from them, causing delays to the feature in sprint 2 of…”. If you have a tech background, there can also be an impulse to use language relevant to your area of expertise.

Using the language you are most familiar with can be used as a way to feel more in control of the situation. It can also be used to give the impression to your audience that you know what you are talking about and they should therefore leave you to fix it without challenge.

Unfortunately using too much technical language that your audience may not understand will alienate them and cause them to feel they can’t help you at a time when you probably need their attention and support the most.

Explaining problems by using language your audience can’t can also increase their anxiety and provoke negative responses or incorrect decisions from them, at a time when level-headed decision are required.

All people want to know initially is, what went wrong, what needs to be done to resolve it, and what is needed from them.

Don’t be Invisible: If you are a leader of a team or contributing within a team, the time to be most visible is when something has gone wrong. This doesn’t mean sending frequent emails or having more frequent meetings all the time. It might be necessary in the short term until an action plan to fix a problem has been agreed, at which point you may need to just get your head down and code, plan, negotiate or whatever actions you have committed to. This may need focus time and isolation, but setting expectations of when you’ll give the next update or when you expect to complete a certain amount of work is key, as it stops you from being bombarded with distracting questions and unproductive meetings when you should be doing meaningful work to fix a problem.

Don’t over commit: It’s easy to commit to a date or actions to resolve a problem when put under pressure by a senior leader. If this happens, explain that you don’t want to commit on the spot and risk further disappointment, but will come back at an agreed date/time to confirm if the request is possible and what is needed to make it happen.

Avoid sugarcoating: While being empathetic, don't downplay the severity of the news or give false hope.

This was an issue I struggled with some years ago. I didn’t like giving bad news and wanted everyone to feel happy at the end of a conversation. In reality, trying to keep people unnecessarily optimistic when things go wrong can make them feel much worse later on, and delay the time it takes to actually resolve a problem, as the necessary actions to fix the problem may not have been surfaced.

When I’ve experienced bad news being delivered incorrectly, it has often been due to the person delivering the bad news downplaying the message amongst a wider update, to the point where the recipients either don’t realise the message was even said, or didn’t realise the significance of the message and its impact to the work at hand.

Be factual, be positive and be solution focussed.

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There are a few easy to apply models and frameworks that can help with delivering unwanted news and resolving them. Using one of these approaches might be easier to remember than a list of do’s and don’ts. Each approach has an example to illustrate the models in practice. You should of course use your own tone of voice and personality if you ever need to use them.

🟢 SPIKES Protocol: This is a six-step strategy commonly used in healthcare settings, but can apply to other situations as well. The considerations include:

• Setting: Choose an appropriate private setting

• Perception: Assess the recipient's perception of the situation

• Invitation: Ask for permission to share the news

• Knowledge: Give the information in small chunks

• Empathy: Respond to the recipient's emotions

• Strategy/Summary: Summarise and discuss next steps

Example

Setting:
The project manager arranges a private video call with the client, ensuring both parties have a quiet, uninterrupted environment for the discussion.

Perception:
Project Manager: "Before we dive in, how do you feel the project has been progressing so far?"
Client: "I thought things were going well, but I've noticed we haven't received the latest progress report."

Invitation:
Project Manager: "I appreciate your perspective. I have some important updates about the project timeline that I need to discuss with you. Is now a good time to go over this?"

Knowledge:
Project Manager: "We've encountered a significant challenge with the database integration phase of the project. (Pause) This has caused a delay in our timeline. We're now looking at a two-month setback from our original launch date."

Empathy:
Client: (Visibly upset) "This is unacceptable. This delay will seriously impact our business plans."
Project Manager: "I completely understand your frustration. A delay of this size is serious, and I recognise the impact this has on your business goals."

Strategy/Summary:
Project Manager: "Let me summarise the situation and propose some solutions:

The database integration has proven more complex than initially anticipated. We're currently two months behind schedule.

To address this, we propose:
- Bringing in additional expert resources to speed up the integration.
- Implementing a phased release strategy to deliver core functionalities on the original date.
- Offering a discount on future maintenance as compensation for the delay.

🟢 ABCDE Model: A structured approach with five steps:

• Advance preparation

• Build a therapeutic relationship/environment

• Communicate well

• Deal with patient and family reactions

• Encourage and validate emotions

Example

Advance preparation:
The project manager gathers all relevant data about the delay, its causes, impact on timeline and budget, and prepares potential solutions. They also arrange for a meeting with key stakeholders and prepare visual aids to explain the situation clearly.

Build a therapeutic relationship/environment:
Project Manager: "Thank you all for joining this urgent meeting. I appreciate your time and commitment to this project. Before we start, I want to assure you that our team is dedicated to finding the best path forward."

Communicate well:
Project Manager: "I called this meeting because we've encountered a significant issue with our software development project. Our key database integration has failed multiple tests, causing a delay in our timeline. We're now looking at a two-month setback from our original launch date."

Deal with stakeholder reactions:
Stakeholder: (Looking concerned) "This is going to impact our entire Q4 strategy. How did this happen?"
Project Manager: "I understand your concern. The integration proved more complex than initially anticipated. Our team has been working around the clock to resolve it, but we need additional time to ensure the product meets our quality standards. Let me walk you through the technical challenges we're facing and the steps we're taking to address them."

Encourage and validate emotions:
Project Manager: "I know this news is frustrating and disappointing. Your reaction is completely valid. Despite this setback, I want to assure you that our team remains committed to delivering a high-quality product. We've prepared some options to mitigate the impact of this delay."

The PM then presents and discusses potential options for input:

1. Reallocating resources to speed up other parts of the project

2. Phased release strategy to deliver core functionalities on time

3. Bringing in additional expert consultants to resolve the integration issue faster

🟢 BREAKS Protocol: This method focuses on:

• Background

• Rapport

• Explore

• Announce

• Kindling

• Summarise

Example

A software development team discovered a critical security issue in the almost completed product, needs major work and will delay the planned launch.

Background:
Scrum Master prepares by gathering all relevant information about the security flaw, its impact, and potential solutions. They also review the project timeline and client expectations.

Rapport:
Scrum Master schedules a face-to-face meeting with the client. They begin with small talk to establish a comfortable atmosphere.

Scrum Master: “Thanks for meeting with me today. How have things been going at your end?”

Explore:
Scrum Master assesses the client's current understanding and expectations.

Scrum Master: “Before we get into the update, could you share your thoughts on how the release has been progressing?”

Announce:
Scrum Master delivers the bad news clearly and concisely.

“I’m afraid I have some concerning news about the release. Our team has discovered a critical security vulnerability in the software that will need major work.”

Kindling:
Project Manager addresses the client's immediate reaction and emotions.

Client: “How did this happen? It’ll mess up our entire launch plan!

Scrum Master: I understand this is upsetting and frustrating. Your reaction is completely valid. Let’s work through this together to find the best solution that works for you.”

Summarise:
Scrum Master outlines the situation, its implications, and proposed next steps.

“We've identified a critical security flaw that needs to be addressed before launch.

Fixing this will delay the project by approximately 6 weeks.

We propose the following solutions:
a) Allocate additional resources to expedite the fix
b) Implement a phased launch approach, releasing secure features first
c) Provide weekly progress updates to ensure transparency

We’re committed to delivering a secure, high quality product. I’d like to discuss the options with you and agree the best path forward. What are your thoughts on the proposals?”

🟢 PEWTER Model: This approach includes:

• Prepare

• Evaluate

• Warning

• Telling

• Emotional response

• Regroup

Example

Prepare:
A CTO has given a product owner in their team the responsibility of upgrading key features in their B2B application. The project has overrun. The product owner gathers all relevant information about the budget overrun, schedule delays, and technical issues. They prepare potential solutions and mitigation strategies.

Evaluate:
The product owner assesses the CTO's likely reaction and plans how to address potential concerns. They also consider the best approach to deliver the news based on the CTO’s communication style and previous interactions.

Warning:
The product owner schedules an urgent meeting with the CTO and gives a brief heads-up about the nature of the discussion.

"I've scheduled this meeting to discuss some important updates about the project. There are some challenges we need to address together."

Telling:
The PO delivers the bad news clearly and concisely.

"Unfortunately our project is currently 30% over budget and approximately two months behind schedule. This is due to unexpected technical complexities we've encountered in the development process."

Emotional response:
The PO acknowledges and addresses the CTO's emotional reaction.

CTO: "This is unacceptable! How could this happen out of nowhere?

"PO: "I understand your frustration and disappointment. You're right to be concerned. Let's work through this together to find the best path forward."

Regroup:
The PO outlines next steps and potential solutions.

"Here's what we propose to address these issues:

1. We'll provide a detailed breakdown of the additional costs and time requirements.

2. We've identified areas where we can potentially streamline development to recoup some time.

3. We're prepared to allocate additional resources at no extra cost to you to help get the project back on track.

4. Moving forward, we'll implement more frequent check-ins and progress reports to ensure better transparency.

I'd like to discuss these options with you and any other ideas you might have.

Examples of where delivering bad news hasn’t worked:

Better.com's Zoom layoffs (2021):
CEO Vishal Garg laid off 900 employees over a Zoom call, which was widely criticised as an insensitive and impersonal way to deliver such significant news. The backlash led to Garg taking a leave of absence and the company implementing changes in its approach to employee communications.

Peloton's product recall (2021):
Peloton initially resisted recalling its Tread+ treadmill despite reports of injuries and a death. The company's initial response was seen as defensive and lacking empathy. They eventually issued a recall but the delayed and resistant approach damaged their reputation.

Where delivering bad news worked successfully:

KFC's Chicken Shortage in the UK (2018):
When KFC ran out of chicken in the UK due to delivery issues, they:

• Used humour in their apology (FCK bucket ad)

• Provided regular updates on store re-openings

• Compensated employees and franchisees

This response turned a potential PR disaster into a positive brand moment. I certainly recall the publicity it garnered, and surprisingly due to KFC’s approach, the brand recognition and loyalty appeared to increase.

Airbnb's Response to Discrimination (2016):
After facing accusations of racial discrimination by hosts, Airbnb:

• Acknowledged the problem openly

• Implemented new anti-discrimination policies

• Launched initiatives to promote inclusion